I Write A Letter

to my late brother (Trevor) every night; and tonights letter pretty much sums up how i'm feeling..for the most part.

My dearest brother Trevor.
I still miss you, of course. I think it's kind of funny how I start all my letters off that way. Anyways I took Danielle to Harry Potter tonight, I think she liked it for the most part. As for me I loved every second of it, and I still want to marry Ron. Haha. I took three different naps today, I fell asleep out on the couch by the window in the front room, then I moved to mom and dad's bed, then moved to my bed. I couldn't really get comfortable anywhere except for on the couch, but Courtney and TJ were playing with their friends so I couldn't sleep. It was rainy today, and the whole sky was just a giant gray cloud, my favorite kind of weather.

It was actually really nice not hearing Zac and Courtney fight today, on account of Zac and Dad are both in Springville with Grannie and Grandpa at the Y game. I guess it's not really different having dad gone cause I usually hardly see him except on Thursday nights when we watch our shows.

Other than the fact that i'm pissed at the whole world, i'm kind of glad me and _ _ _ _ _ (you know who i'm talking about I assume) are drifting apart. And I try to say that in the nicest way possible. But I finally don't have to feel like i'm responsible for all of her actions towards other people, and that's kind of nice. I mean what's the point of calling someone your bestfriend when they don't listen to you, don't care about you (or anyone else for that matter), who is extremely selfish, and is strictly obsessed with 'dressing to impress.' I've finally realized that is not what I need.

I'm still pretty stressed about college. I guess I'll find out on Monday what else I can do to get my life rolling. I still greatly would enjoy going to Notre Dame. I know it's a pretty low chance of me going there, but I think it would be neat, honestly to move across the country and study abroad of the Catholic religion, and more. I guess if that doesn't work out, I can always apply to BU.

I was in the car yesterday with Dad driving around listening to the Foo Fighters talking about how unique Dave Grohl is, and I just got the biggest grin on my face thinking of what witty thing you would say about him. That's what I'd miss. Is the fact that we could talk, and you WOULD listen. No matter what I had to say.

I think of you, every time I listen to this. (Home- Foo Fighters)

Wish I were with you
I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away
Pray for tomorrow
But for today

All I want is to be home

Stand in the mirror
You look the same
Just lookin' for shelter
From cold and the pain
Someone to cover
Safe from the rain

All I want is to be home

Echoes and silence

Patience and grace
All of these moments
I'll never replace
No fear of my heart
Absence of faith

All I want is to be home
All I want is to be home

People I've loved
I have no regrets
Some I remember
Some I forget
Some of them living
Some of them dead

All I want is to be home

Come home Trev, I love you.