This Is Not A Pity Party.

I pray to be noticed. Literally. I have a low self esteem, and everyday I wish there was something I could do to change that. I have a big heart and I want to reach out more but the anxiety always stuck in the back of my head overwhelmes me. It's like in cartoons when there is a raining cloud over the characters head, that's how it is. Always.

Why can't everyone just get along? The two people I care about most in the world hate the very depths of each other. I just wish that they would realize it is seriously taking a toll on my emotional health. They don't have to like each other, but is it really too much to ask to just tolerate each other and keep their opinions of the other one to them-selves when they are around me?

I lost you, and I would sell my soul to get you back. I miss how we used to talk every day, and how you used to call me beautiful-but not in the attractive sense, but in a way that mean I was a beautiful person on the inside. I miss it when we would talk on the phone about real things. But now cause that doesn't happen anymore, I can't figure out what to do with myself.

Maybe all this is just supposed to happen. But i'm not so sure of that anymore.